Monday, 29 November 2010

Angry Movie Lurker Review 12: Machete.(3 STARS)

Saw a fictional trailer for this movie about two years ago belonging to Grindhouse attached to the movie Planet Terror, now we have an actual movie starring the excellent Danny Trejo(what a face!) playing the title role as an ex federale turned vigilante/mercenary against corrupt politician(Robert De Niro), finds himself on the run and teamed up with mexican immigrants led by Michelle Rodriguez.
The movie is so bad its good with some of the most over the top opening and continuing violence,laugh out loud humour(some of it is intentional) bad acting especially from De Niro and an over the top confusing story that goes all over the place but it has still got enough going for it especially from Trejo and supporting cast(Steven Seagal, Jeff Fahey, Don Johnson, Cheech Marin and others) but Lindsay Lohans nudity scene with the phone is certainly worth seeing.There are limbs all over the place and even a 3ft long machete but the one scene which should helps is"Machete don't text"   

Angry Movie Lurker Review 11: The A -Team.(4 STARS)

Saw this a while back and must admit it was a damn good movie with small moments of nonsense(flying tank), it has a good cast especially Sharlto Copley playing Murdoch and it also explains how B.A developed his problem with flying.It shows the team before they are imprisoned for crimes they didn't commit and after their escape.It is loud, brash, funny and and good fun with only some improbable scenes(flying tank scene anybody) taking anything away from a great cast doing the movie proud.The original cast would be proud and we like it when a plan comes together..  

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Angry Movie Lurker Review 10: La Horde:(3 STARS)

Watched this last week as I am a bit of a fan of Zombie movies, this is a french one from the director Yannick Dahan.It starts as a revenge trip for 4 corrupt police officers as they attempt to kill the criminal responsible for the death of one of their own, that mission goes bad for them and they are at the mercy of the criminals when zombie hell breaks out literally and they have to join forces to fight off the zombie menace(fast zombie and slow zombies?).This is a grim movie and would be a lot better if you actually cared for any of the main characters but you don't(I did not recognise any of the main actors possibly because they were french and not really known to me),The movie is quick paced and set in the location of a tower block and it just about worth 3 STARS for a couple of good scenes(.30 cal WW2 light machine gun and a corridor full of zombies being a stand out moment).Remember revenge is a dish best served cold and your greatest danger is always going to be other survivors.

By the way watch it in its native language it really helps.

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Angry Movie Lurker Review 9: Dead Man's Shoes.(5 STARS)

This movie is in my top ten movies of all time, it covers one of my main loves in movies(revenge well done).Paddy Considine (a para) returns to his hometown to sort out a real sleazebag bunch of drug dealers(they really are) who have used and abused his younger brother.This is low budget but it gripped me from the scene in a pool hall when some of the gang are hanging out and his interaction for a brief moment sets the tone and I was engrossed until the end.Paddy Consindine gives a brilliant performance, so does Toby Kebell as the younger brother(saw him recently in "Rocknrolla" as the title character), some of the other performances are a little suspect but it doesn't matter as this movie will shock and engross you until the bitter end.Director Shane Meadows greatest moment(have never liked anything else he has done anyway near as much, great soundtrack aswell especially the opening track. 

Angry Movie Lurker Review 8: Cop Out.(2 STARS)

A buddy cop movie with Bruce Willis in it you can't go wrong?(yes you bloody can go wrong) this is a bad movie with very few laughs and for a supposed comedy  this is not good.Basically the duo of Willis and Morgan(shouts a lot) are suspended from the force without pay and Willis needs money to pay for his daughters wedding so he tries to sell a rare baseball card which ends up in the hands of a mexican criminal gang and the ensuing chase to get it back, I do not know what is wrong with Willis but he's not happy in this movie and it shows, Morgan(an awful lot of unfunny shouting) is really not good and the director Kevin Smith(who did not write the dialogue) cannot get it together.There are 2 stand out moments that I can remember, a scrotum punching exchange and Seann William Scott giving a good performance as a burglar.This movie does not get 1 STAR only because Willis is still good even when it looks like he doesn't care.Avoid but maybe check Youtube for the scrotum punching exchange bit.

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Angry Movie Lurker Review 7: Lucky Number Slevin.(5 STARS)

This is a great movie about revenge that finds Josh Hartnett going through the one of the worst cases of mistaken identity, forced to kill somebody to pay off a debt that he does not owe with a real hitman(Bruce Willis) on the prowl and two heads of rival criminal factions Morgan Freeman and Ben Kingsley) plus the added burden of the police and a coroner(Lucy Liu).A stand out movie that is in my top ten(sort of shows my take on the movies I like).By the way did I say this movie is about revenge.A must see. 

Angry Movie Lurker Review 6: Knight and Day.(3 STARS)

Started to watch this movie with a little trepidation due to some comments from friends but I found the movie to be quiet enjoyable but pure popcorn.Cameron Diaz becomes caught up in super spy Tom Cruise's life as a suspected rogue CIA agent,the plot follows the search and chase for an everlasting battery between Cruise and bad guy Peter Sarsgaard, what follows is virtually unrelenting mayhem from beginning to near soppy ending(my other half loved it) acrooss a lot of the globe but its enjoyable has some great set peices and stunts(lots of CGI) and I recommend it as a 3 STAR no brainer with good performances from both leads but damn near being a rom-com.

Angry Movie Lurker Review 5: Resident Evil Afterlife.(3 STARS)

Saw this but not in its 3D finery and have to say if not for my love of nearly all things zombie this would have got 2 STARS as it is OK but nothing great.Starts off with an attack on the Umbrella organisation in Tokyo by Alice(Milla Jovovich) and then becomes a search for Arcadia with a bunch of survivors Alice hooks up with including Claire Redfield(Ali Larter) and Chris Redfield(Wentworth Miller) and some guys who are not going to see the end credits.The bad guys are represented by Albert Wesker(Shawn Roberts) who gives it his all, there is plenty of action and  gore but it was predictable(there is a very good scene with a creature called The Executioner though) and you can see where the 3D stuff would have happened(some of it looks good) if I was watching in that format.I have liked the resident evil movies all along even when they are weak like Extinction but I would watch it again if there really was nothing esle to watch.

NB.The ending is alright but ends with another sequel opportunity that irritates because its a bit much and with the quality and performance of this movie there may not be anymore made.

Angry Movie Lurker Review 4: RED.(3 STARS)

Saw this movie recently mainly because it had Bruce Willis in it and the promo seemed to cover most demands I have(guns, action and humor),the movie is based on a 3 issue comic book by Warren Ellis in 2003/4.
Willis(still got it and a movie made for him) is a retired CIA operative who is been pursued by assassins led by Karl Urban(bad guy/very good actor) after contact with a girl at his pension provider,they go on the run and get the retired gang back together, Freeman(dependable as always), Malovich(playing the lunatic who believes they are out to get him and he is right), Mirren(great scene) and some outside assistance from Brian Cox(the russian) the action is plentiful, plenty of laughs and one liners,great performances from everybody and a good ending make this a 3 STAR bordering on a 4 STAR, recommended.

Angry Movie Lurker Review 3: Jonah Hex.(3 STARS)

Saw this with little knowledge other than it was a western with a scarred Josh Brolin in the lead with Megan Fox and John Malkovich as the bad guy.It seems to be set after the ACW with Hex as a bounty hunter formerly with the confederate army(portrayed as a bit of a git) who witnessed his familys death at the hands of Turnbull(Malkovich) and is branded by Turnbull and left for dead, he is healed by Indians and develops an ability to talk to the dead(I know I thought the same thing) but without giving too much away the movie is a revenge trip but also a mission to save the country from Turnbull and his secret weapon(not that big a secret).Megan Fox plays a hooker with a heart of stone(except for Jonah),the action scenes are over the top,a lot of cliches(including Turnbulls right hand bad man being an Irishman and an incredible over the top performance aside but the main point being the Irish are always the good guys and never ginger) but there is a lot of action and a good bodycount and Megan Fox is in it!

I give the movie 3 STARS as it wasn't that bad and it fulfilled the 3 STAR rule(guide at bottom of page) but maybe it was the humour I was in at the time. I have never read the comics and I believe that may have helped the scoring.

Angry Movie Lurker Review 2: The Good, The Bad, The Weird.(4 STARS)

The Good,The Bad,The Weird came out in 2008 and is set in 1930's Manchuria and tells the story of a hunt for a treasure map(buried Qing dynasty riches) and the three main characters involvement in locating it, The Good(bounty hunter), The Bad(bandit and hitman) and the Weird(thief), involved aswell are a multitude of other characters including a large pursuing group of Manchurian Bandits and the Japanese army.This is one hell of a movie and try to watch the Korean version as the ending is better, it has a great soundtrack, good bodycount, insane action set pieces and hopefully when I say to people now have you seen the film they will go yes and it was bloody brilliant.

Angry Movie Lurker Review 1: The Expendables.(4 STARS)

Saw the Expendables and I have to say was not expecting much from it but was suprised at how much I enjoyed it even with the overacting and ham acting from some of the leads(some of them are not ageing well)but the violence,action scenes,set pieces and humour made this a very enjoyable movie and the ending just rounded out a damn good experience.Basically a mercenary team are paid to kill the leader of a south american country for the CIA(always the bad guy now) but end up helping the country.If the scene near the end with the AA-12 shotgun does not make you laugh out loud and shout I apologise(not really).
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